15 and a Half Weeks

It's been 15 and a half weeks since my gastric bypass surgery. So I guess this is my new normal. The next new normal will be when my body decides where my natural weight will be and I move into the next, and permanent, phase--maintenance. I am sure that will be the hardest part. When I saw Dr. Basa the first time I weighed 195 pounds (naked and on my home scale) and I currently weigh around 145 pounds for a total loss of 50 pounds, so I am over half way to goal. I saw Dr. Basa about 3 weeks ago and she was happy with how I'm doing and my blood work was good. The only thing I needed to work on was my iron level, so I am now taking two iron supplements instead of one. I can't remember what my A1c was, but my average morning blood sugar is 103. I would like it to be under 100 but it pretty darn close! I feel good. I'm still not feeling as energetic as I would like, but I think that is due to sleep apnea. If I still feel this way when I am close to goal then I will ask my doctor for a sleep study. I was going to Curves, which I have always enjoyed, but I started the Couch 2 5K program (C25K) and I'm really enjoying it. The goal of C25K is to ease you into running so that by the end of 9 weeks you can run a 5K. I'm taking it slowly, so I did the first week twice. Week one is a 5 minute fast walk, followed by 8 alternating one minute runs and 90 second recovery walks, and ends with a 5 minute cool-down walk. Monday I will begin week 2. I don't know how far I'll get due to arthritis in my knees and I know I also have a Baker's cyst in my left knee, but I'm enjoying the challenge. I have never run as an adult except two times, and both times I developed shin splints immediately. I figured that since I am inexperienced and have bad knees, I would try "barefoot running" because it is supposed to be lower impact. It's not really barefoot, but the shoes are designed for that running style (like the shoes with toes, but they don't have toes). My muscles were incredibly sore the first few days, and now it's not super easy, but I enjoy it. Eating is still a learning process. Some days are easy, others are not. Last week I thought I might be developing an ulcer because I couldn't eat or drink without feeling nauseous. It must have been a bug or a "touchy pouch" because I am doing much better. It's scary when I think I have eaten too much and I'm not uncomfortable. The process reminds me of motherhood, I'm always second guessing myself. I wore a new dress to Marina's high school graduation. I got a lot of compliments, John even said I looked great. After I saw photos though, I thought I looked terrible. My arms are already super saggy and my calves looked huge. It's hard to be a female in our society, we are rarely taught (successfully) to feel good about how we look. I'm working on it and I have my good moments. I would eventually like to have surgery to remove excess skin on my arms and belly. I don't know if it will be financially feasible, and in a way I feel like I deserve to have some "scars" from being so fat for so long, but it would be nice. I am so touched by the strong support I have received! People have gone out of their way to compliment me on my weight loss and how I look. I truly appreciate every bit if support. Thank you!